


Mirror Of What Now?

by busy_bee7



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, James Potter is a Good Friend, Love Confessions, M/M, Mirror of Erised, Remus Lupin is So Done, Remus finds the mirror of erised, Sirius Black is a Little Shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:20:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27688198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/busy_bee7/pseuds/busy_bee7
Summary: Poor Remus just wants some peace and quiet to deal with the fact that Sirius is dating Marlene. Only he stumbles upon a mirror. Wanting help, he tries to find Lily, only to end up finding James and Sirius instead.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 106





	Mirror Of What Now?

Remus knew Hogwarts better than most of the seventh years. He knew the tunnels, the trapdoors, the room of requirement, all the prefect lounges, and the cabinets that were actually rooms. He didn’t tell James, Sirius, or Peter about some of the places when they made the map. He loved his friends and wanted the map to be useful...but sometimes he needed to just be alone. And not alone in the library, where Sirius was bound to disrupt his studying. Not alone in the astronomy tower, where Lily would ask him if he was feeling alright. Not alone in his room, where James and Peter would ask him why he seemed so sad on a Friday night. 

A Friday night on which Sirius was on another date with Marlene. When Sirius told the rest of his friends he was going on his third date with a girl, they were all mildly shocked. Usually, he would not go past two dates. 

“I just can’t get serious with them,” he would shrug it off and ignore any other questions James and Peter would poke him with. Remus would just give him a nod of sympathy while smiling on the inside. Maybe he was selfish. Okay, he was selfish. He wanted Sirius to have someone. To be in love. To experience dating. Dating someone who wasn’t him. Remus didn’t let himself even hope that Sirius would ever return his affection. Sirius had been on dates with all the Gryffindor girls and several girls from the other houses. He had at some point slept with some of them. Unfortunately, Sirius hadn’t perfected his silencing charms. Remus would see himself as too quiet and frankly, too broken for Sirius. 

Not to mention Sirius was into girls. 

So Remus sat on a Friday night not in his room, but in a room he had found on one of his paroles. Only he and Lily knew about the hallway, as far as he knew. But the room itself was a secret he kept. It was plain, about the size of his shared bedroom, and appeared to be an abandoned classroom. There was a large desk, and several chairs scattered around the room. Chalkboards covered one of the walls, and windows another. The room was well lit, with candles that Remus had charmed to be safely lit with no actual burning. He had slowly begun using the room as his own second bedroom. It had been almost two years since he found it, no one had reprimanded him for it or removed his items from the room. 

The windows faced the lake, being underground. He enjoyed watching the fish swim past. There was a closet in the back of the room he never opened. He kept some snacks on the desk, a journal, a blanket, and chocolate. He even transformed some of the chairs into a couch to nap on. And, alright, sometimes to get off on. Remus hated using the common bedroom. Or the prefects bathroom. Remus was happy with his space. 

So on that Friday night, Remus sat in the room, with a book, studying for an exam he had soon. It was only October, but he was preparing for all his tests early. Reaching down for his quill, he swore as he realized he forgot one. 

“There’s got to one somewhere,” he mumbled. Remus was tense. He wouldn’t tell his friends why, of course, but Sirius’ date was, well, pissing him off. Marlene and Sirius had always been flirtatious, he just never thought it would go beyond that. 

He looked in all the desk drawers, and finally, opened the closet. He yanked the door open only to come face to face with himself. He let out a yell and fell backward. Remus pushed out a relieved breath as he realized it was only a mirror. It was a large mirror, with detailing around the edges. What was it doing in a closet in an abandoned classroom? He looked up and made eye contact with himself, frowning. Only then he peered closer. 

This Remus has no scars on his face. He looked older, maybe in his late twenties. He was gently smiling, and Merlin, he had a wedding band on his hand. Remus’s eyes widened as he looked down at his own trembling hand. There was no ring on his hand. Looking up, he saw a few more things enter the picture. A tattoo, and then people. He hurriedly looked around to ensure he was still alone. But these people were only in the mirror. Obviously, the mirror was charmed. He looked back. 

First, James and Peter walked up, wearing dress robes. He noted that his figure also seemed to have changed into dress robes at some point. Lily was there. And Marlene. And several other people he was friends with. Where was Sirius? Surely whatever this mirror was showing him had to include Sirius? Then Sirius walked up behind him and held his hand. 

Remus slammed the closet door shut and grabbed his book bag, running out of the room faster than he ever had. What the bloody fuck was that mirror? What was it showing him? Why was Sirius holding his hand? Why were his friends there? 

Running back to the Gryffindor common room left him breathless, he didn’t run a lot. Upon entering he saw James and Sirius sitting on a sofa by the fireplace, with Sirius looking….unbearably sad. 

“Hey! Remus, come here!” James called, earning a glare from Sirius. Wait, wasn’t he supposed to be on a date? Either way, Remus’s heart was beating too fast, from running and also from Sirius being back from his date. 

“I….I need to talk to Lily,” he mumbled. James frowned. Sirius wasn’t looking at him. 

“Whatcha need to talk to my beautiful girlfriend for? You’re not trying to steal her, are you?” James joked, elbowing Sirius in the ribs. 

“Yeah, Remus, what’s the deal? Why are you so red?” Sirius asked, seeming only slightly pissy. 

“Something...Uhm…just a weird problem with uh...prefect duties,” he lied. 

James frowned. “You can ask me, I’m Head Boy, remember?” 

Fuck.

“Okay, will you two come with me, then?” Remus asked. He could ignore the butterflies around his best friend and the weird image in the mirror to solve this mystery. Damn, he would also lose his favorite spot in Hogwarts. 

The three boys wandered down the hallways, Remus slightly ahead of the other two, as James and Sirius joked about someone’s ass. 

“See, my arse is already as flat is it could be,” Sirius started, as if the topic was completely normal, and Remus’s ears weren’t turning red. “But if I were a girl, I think it would be the biggest ass you’ve seen!” he grinned, poking James. “But even that wouldn’t make you fall for me, we all know your type - oW!” he yelled, after getting elbowed by James.

“You shut your mouth about Lily. Personally, I think her arse is perfect. We all know you’ve got a thing for the thick ones, just look at Moony!” James exclaimed. Remus stopped in his tracks, heart throbbing. What? Yes, he had a good ass, but what? 

“I’m right here,” Remus said, voice only a little wobbly. What exactly did James mean by that? He turned to look at his friends. James was grinning sheepishly, Sirius was red-faced and glaring at the other. Remus sighed. “The room’s right here.” He led them up to his secret room and let them in.

“Why the hell isn’t this on our map, Moons?” Sirius asked, looking in wonder at the small classroom, taking in the snacks, sofa, and books Remus had left in the room. 

“I just recently found it,” Remus lied, hoping to let it slide. “But... I found something stranger.”  
Remus crossed the room and opened the cabinet. This time, he pulled his wand out and moved the mirror into the center of the room. James frowned, then a grin burst onto his face. 

“Do you...know what this is?” Remus asked James. Sirius was staring in the mirror intently, mouth slightly open. James didn’t answer, looking in the mirror himself and smiling. “Prongs, I brought you here so you could answer my question, not get all dopey eyed! What the hell is this thing? I saw...strange things in it.” Remus was getting a little frustrated.

“Rem, come here, stand next to Sirius,” James said, pulling him towards the mirror. Both boys flushed, arms brushing together. Sirius and Remus had a special friendship, to say the least. It was different than the other boys. They both struggled to sleep at night due to nightmares, and often would lie in Remus’s bed, close together with hands clasped tight. And right now, the boys’ reflection showed them holding hands as well. Remus bit his lip. Of course, he wanted what he saw, but knew that Sirius would never hold his hand romantically.   
“What do you see, Sirius?” James asked, leaning against the large desk, arms crossed and grinning. 

“My arm is around Remus,” Sirius said, not looking away from the mirror at all. His face was unreadable. “What about you, Remus?”

“I see the same” he mumbled under his breath. There was no point in lying. James obviously knew something he didn’t. 

“James, what is going on here?”Sirius said as he broke eye contact with Remus in the mirror to face his friend. 

“This is the Mirror of Erised. McGonnagal showed it to me during my first year. After several detentions. It showed me in the mirror with friends, as Head Boy….I had no desire for that life. I was wearing a Quidditch jersey. Lily was there. I didn’t mention that to her. But….it shows you what you want. It shows you your deepest desire,” James said. Remus’s heart swooped. His deepest desire. Sirius. But there was no way that Sirius’s deepest desire was him….

“It was obviously moved to this room sometime between then and now. I would come back to it now and then if I needed to know what I was really after. Right now I see Lily and I, and….we have a child. You guys are there too. And Peter. I want peace, and apparently I want a child,” James chuckled. He looked at the two boys in front of him, still standing close together and looking at the mirror. “I think I should go….” he finally said after a pause. 

“Please do,” said Sirius, quietly. His voice was quiet and tight. It was unlike him to be quiet unless he was worried. Remus only heard this from him while he was talking about his family or his nightmares. James left the room, closing the door behind him. Sirius let out a sigh, turning from the mirror and running a hand through his messy black hair. He sat down on the couch, putting his head in his hands. 

“I didn’t get more than fifteen minutes into the date with Marlene. I don’t like her, Moons, not like that. I think you know why now. I think you know altogether way too much about me, but I never stop telling you things about myself. Well, now you know this. I’m sorry,” he mumbled from behind his hands. Remus turned from the mirror. Despite Sirius walking away, the Sirius next to his reflection never did. His heart was beating too fast. Did this actually mean what he thought? 

“Pads, you said your arm was around me….what does that mean to you?” he whispered carefully. Remus made his way to the sofa, sitting down next to the boy. “Hey, talk to me, its just me,” he whispered, taking Sirius’s hands from his face carefully and holding them. If he read this wrong, it would be embarrassing, but he needed to know. He had wished for Sirius for too long to let this slide.   
“It’s never just you, Moons, not when you’re the best person I know. I….Moony, I never date any of the girls because I can’t admit that I fancy my best friend.”

“Your -”

“You, Remus. I’ve fancied you for the past five years. I didn’t want you to know since I know you weren’t interested and probably had loads of girls after you since you’re so bloody smart and gorgeous. And...fuck, Rem, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable,” Sirius cried, a few loose tears running down his face. His hands, still in Remus's, weren't able to wipe them away.

So Remus did for him.

Sirius looked at him for the first time since James left the room. The sadness in his eyes was too much for Remus to take. He let his free hand cup the crying boys face, only to have it yanked away. 

“Don’t,” Sirius choked, “Don’t touch me like that, please, Rem.” 

“But I want to,” Remus whispered. Sirius swallowed.

“Why?”

“I...Pads, I love you,” Remus looked back at Sirius, hoping that his message would get through the other's thick skull. “I saw the same things in the mirror as you, you bloody idiot. I’ve never said anything because you only courted women.”

They looked at each other.

“So, the mirror?”

“Showed us together, yes. Sirius, I’ve been trying to figure out how to manage my feelings for you for years. I had no clue what the mirror was until James told me. I...fuck, Sirius,” he chuckled, reaching for the other boy’s hands. 

Sirius wiped the tears off with his sleeve before gripping Remus’s hands back as tightly as he could. 

“You’re not joking? Remus, I know I joke a lot and don’t even think about joking about my name right now. But I’m serious about this. There’s nothing I want more than to be with you forever.”

Remus sucked in a breath.

“Of course I’m serious, love.”


End file.
